15 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Working

Relationships don’t stay strong by accident. They grow because two people keep showing up for each other—on the good days and the hard ones. If you’re wondering how to keep your relationship working over the long run, these 15 habits can help you build trust, closeness, and real partnership.

Why Healthy Relationships Take Ongoing Effort

A good relationship isn’t a one-time achievement; it’s an ongoing practice.

Life changes. People grow. Stress, money, family, work, and health can all put pressure on your connection. What keeps love strong is not the absence of problems, but the way you handle them together.

When both partners:

• communicate clearly,

• respect each other’s boundaries,

• stay curious instead of judgmental, and

• choose each other again and again,

the relationship stays flexible and resilient instead of cracking under pressure.

Ground Rules for a Strong Partnership

These first habits are like the foundation of a house. Without them, everything else feels shaky.

Commit to Honesty and Don’t Lie

Lying erodes trust faster than almost anything else. Even “small” lies can make your partner wonder what else you’re hiding.

Honesty doesn’t mean blurting out every thought in your head. It means:

• being truthful about your actions and intentions,

• not hiding major things that affect your partner or the relationship, and

• owning up when you mess up.

If you’re tempted to lie, pause and ask yourself: What am I afraid will happen if I tell the truth? Then communicate that fear. It’s easier to repair a hard truth than a discovered lie.

Keep Choosing to Love Each Other

Love is more than a feeling; it’s a daily choice.

You “choose love” when you:

• check in with your partner’s day,

• speak kindly even when you’re irritated,

• show up for important moments, and

• prioritize their well-being alongside your own.

You don’t have to feel romantic every second to be loving. What matters is your consistent effort to act with care and respect.

Stay Kind, Sweet, and Thoughtful

Long-term relationships can slip into autopilot. You stop doing the little things you did in the beginning.

Bring back the sweetness:

• Send a caring text in the middle of the day.

• Give genuine compliments.

• Say “thank you” for everyday things.

• Do small favors without being asked.

These tiny gestures say, “You still matter to me,” which keeps the emotional connection warm.

Communication Habits That Keep You Close

Healthy communication is less about talking all the time and more about staying open, honest, and respectful.

Keep Communication Open and Curious

Instead of assuming you know what your partner thinks, ask.

• “How are you really feeling about this?”

• “What do you need from me right now?”

• “Is there anything we haven’t talked about that’s on your mind?”

Listen to understand, not just to respond. Put your phone down, make eye contact, and reflect back what you heard to make sure you got it right.

Avoid Threatening Breakups During Conflict

Saying “Maybe we should just break up” in the middle of a fight can be deeply destabilizing. It turns every disagreement into a question of whether the relationship will survive.

Instead:

• Save conversations about ending the relationship for calm, serious moments.

• During arguments, focus on the issue: “I’m upset about what happened, but I want us to work through this together.”

• If you need space, say, “I care about us. I just need a break to calm down so we can talk more clearly.”

It’s okay to leave relationships that aren’t right for you—but using breakup threats as a weapon usually harms trust.

Talk Through Hurt and Focus on Forgiving

Getting hurt in a relationship is inevitable; staying stuck in resentment is optional.

When you’re hurt:

1. Name what happened and how you feel: “When X happened, I felt Y.”

2. Share what you need going forward: “Next time, I’d really appreciate it if you could…”

3. Give your partner a real chance to hear, understand, and repair.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending something was okay. It means deciding whether you can accept a sincere repair, set boundaries if needed, and move forward instead of replaying the hurt on repeat.

Managing Ego, Expectations, and Conflict

Conflict doesn’t mean you’re with the wrong person. It just means you’re two different humans learning how to live together.

Learn to Put Your Ego Aside

Ego shows up when you’d rather be “right” than connected.

You might notice ego when you:

• interrupt or talk over your partner,

• refuse to consider their point of view, or

• focus on “winning” the argument.

Try instead:

• “Help me understand how this feels from your side.”

• “I might be missing something—can you walk me through it again?”

• “I still feel strongly about my view, but I hear what you’re saying.”

Putting ego aside doesn’t mean ignoring your needs; it means staying open to your partner’s reality too.

Be Honest Instead of Saying “It’s Okay” When It’s Not

Saying “It’s fine” when you’re actually hurt creates invisible walls between you.

If something bothers you, you don’t have to make it a big dramatic moment. You can say:

• “I know you didn’t mean harm, but that comment stung.”

• “I said I was okay earlier, but I’ve realized I’m not. Can we talk about it?”

• “I’m not ready to talk fully yet, but I want you to know I’m upset.”

Clear honesty gives your partner a chance to show up and support you instead of guessing.

Stop Comparing Past Relationships to the Present

Comparisons to exes can quietly poison the relationship.

Whether it’s “My ex never did that” or “You’re so much better than everyone I’ve dated,” comparisons can:

• make your partner feel like they’re being measured against someone else,

• keep you stuck in old stories, and

• distract you from the unique connection you have now.

If you notice yourself comparing, ask: What do I actually need or value here? Then communicate that directly instead of using your ex as a measuring stick.

Say “Sorry” and Mean It

A real apology is more than the word “sorry.”

A meaningful apology usually includes:

• Acknowledgment: “I see that I hurt you by doing/saying X.”

• Responsibility: “I chose that, and it wasn’t okay.”

• Impact: “I understand it made you feel Y.”

• Repair: “Here’s what I’ll do differently going forward.”

Avoid “I’m sorry you feel that way,” which shifts responsibility onto your partner instead of owning your part.

Daily Practices That Build Trust and Security

The strongest relationships are built on consistent, everyday choices.

Practice Healthy Give and Take

Relationships aren’t 50/50 all the time. Some days your partner will give more; other days you will.

Healthy give and take means:

• noticing when your partner is overwhelmed and stepping up,

• accepting support when you need it instead of keeping score, and

• talking openly when things feel unbalanced:
  “I’ve been doing a lot of X lately and I’m getting tired. Can we look at how to share this more evenly?”

Mutual generosity—paired with honest conversations about capacity—keeps resentment from building.

Set Boundaries Around Exes and Old Stories

You don’t have to erase your past to have a healthy present. But constant talk about exes can make your partner feel insecure or undervalued.

Consider:

• Sharing what’s relevant from your past once or twice, not on a loop.

• Agreeing on what feels comfortable around staying in contact with exes.

• Steering away from using exes as examples in every disagreement.

A good rule: if bringing up an ex isn’t truly necessary or helpful, it can probably stay in the past.

Resolve Fights Early Instead of Letting Them Linger

Letting days go by while you’re both shut down can turn small misunderstandings into major distance.

You don’t have to fix everything immediately, but you can say:

• “I’m still upset, but I care about us. Can we talk about this later today?”

• “I need some time to cool off, but I’m not going anywhere.”

• “Can we schedule a time tomorrow to revisit this when we’re both calmer?”

The goal is to balance space with reconnection, so arguments don’t stretch into silent standoffs.

Stay Aware of Your Partner’s Feelings and Needs

Emotional awareness is one of the most attractive long-term traits you can bring to a relationship.

Try:

• Checking in regularly: “How are you feeling about us lately?”

• Noticing shifts in mood: “You seem quieter than usual—everything okay?”

• Respecting boundaries: if your partner says they need rest, alone time, or reassurance, take it seriously.

You don’t have to “fix” their feelings. Simply being present, listening, and caring goes a long way.

There’s No Perfect Person—Only the Right Fit for You

Perfection is a moving target. No partner will meet every need, agree with every opinion, or never annoy you.

What you can look for is:

• shared values (respect, honesty, kindness),

• compatible long-term goals, and

• a willingness from both sides to communicate and grow.

Instead of asking, “Did I find the perfect person?” try, “Do we both show up, take responsibility, and treat each other with care?” That’s what makes someone “right” for you over time.

Let Go of Perfection and Focus on Alignment

When you stop chasing perfection, you make room for real intimacy.

That might look like:

• accepting quirks that don’t actually harm the relationship,

• talking honestly about non-negotiables (like safety, respect, or monogamy agreements), and

• choosing someone who fits your life, not just your fantasy.

Healthy relationships are built between two imperfect people who keep doing the work—together.

When to Consider Outside Support for Your Relationship

Sometimes, even with your best efforts, you can feel stuck or overwhelmed.

It may be worth seeking outside support if:

• the same fights keep repeating and never get resolved,

• one or both of you shut down or explode during conflict,

• trust has been seriously damaged and you’re not sure how to rebuild, or

• you’re unsure whether to stay together or separate.

Support could look like:

• couples counseling or relationship coaching,

• individual counseling to explore your own patterns,

• trusted friends or mentors who model healthy relationships.

If there is any kind of abuse, controlling behavior, or unsafe situation, your well-being comes first. Reach out to trusted people or local resources who can help you plan your next steps safely.

Key Takeaways to Keep Your Relationship Working

To keep your relationship strong over time:

• Tell the truth and own your actions.

• Choose love in daily, practical ways.

• Communicate clearly, especially when it’s uncomfortable.

• Apologize sincerely and repair when harm happens.

• Practice give and take, not score-keeping.

• Respect boundaries, including your own.

• Let go of the idea of a “perfect” partner and focus on being aligned, caring teammates.

You don’t need to do all 15 things perfectly. Start with one or two habits that feel most urgent or doable, and build from there. Small, consistent changes—made by two willing people—can keep a relationship not just working, but genuinely thriving.